Thursday, September 11, 2008

The spread of Hepatocracy

If I were running for office, here's what I would say.
As an active member of my party , I am a firm believer in Hepatocracy. That is, the hepatistic values of the Livertarian party have been kept, and held sacred. Once our values are allowed to be corrupted, then all is lost. Hepaticism is a valuable , and ancient belief. In ancient Greece, Hippocrates believed in it. The ancient Chinese knew how important a role the liver played in the total human experience. Later, in Europe, Laennec carried on the traditions of hepatocracy. Here, in Bobby's abdomen, let me just say, that because of the perseverance, and endurance of the party's values, this struggle is being waged from all sides. You've heard the saying "We hold these truths to be self evident that all men were created equal." But do you believe that all men's livers were created equal? If you believe that, then you are indeed gullible. In here, the politics of gastroenterology is a deadly struggle, a life and death FIGHT to survive despite all that stands in our way. You think you've seen corruption? You think you've seen inequality? Let me tell you something about inequality, when a kidney has to fight to survive despite it's big- fat- owner not having the smarts or self control to push the plate away, or go for a walk, or join a gym. NO, in here we, the organs of your body have to do everything we can to survive despite being genically predisposed to certain diseases, and the constant onslaught of life itself. A tax hike wont cut it in here, nor will tax cuts. Blood and guts isn't an R movie rating in here, it's reality. It's the truth. But you cant handle the truth!! SO YOU GO AHEAD AND EAT YOUR CAPTAIN CRUNCH AND DRINK THAT PEPSI AND VODKA FOR BREAKFAST, AND SLAM THOSE BEERS WITH YOUR CHICHARORON BURRITOS AND YOU IGNORRRRR YOURRRRR CHOLESTOROL

ahhemmm. uuhhunggggggg.

I'm Billybob and I approve of this message.

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